


pickup lines

by stillscape



Series: tumblr prompts collection [7]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 11:56:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14043762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillscape/pseuds/stillscape
Summary: It had taken a few months, but finally, Jughead had learned not to resent being dragged to his roommate’s girlfriend’s apartment for quote-unquote “socializing” nearly every weekend.





	pickup lines

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heartunsettledsoul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartunsettledsoul/gifts), [allskynostars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allskynostars/gifts).



> Finally filling a tumblr fic dialogue prompt meme from (I think) January: "Are you drunk?" and "You make me want things I can't have." 
> 
> I combined two prompts for this one; I also assume the people who sent me the prompts have long since forgotten. Whoops!

It had taken a few months, but finally, Jughead had learned not to resent being dragged to his roommate’s girlfriend’s apartment for quote-unquote “socializing” nearly every weekend. He hadn’t yet learned not to resent Veronica’s choices of beverage, on the occasions she was in charge of refreshments, and tonight was no exception. He was ignoring his jalapeño-flavored margarita as much as was possible (although even he had to admit that the little paper umbrella was--if a stupid novelty--kind of cute). He sat in the corner chair, as usual, and hoped that the conversation would soon swing back around to a topic to which he might legitimately be able to contribute. 

 

Until then, he had the bowl of snack mix to himself. Which was something. 

 

“The worst pickup line I’ve ever heard?” Veronica tilted her head slightly at her roommate, who was twiddling her own tiny umbrella between her fingers as she sipped. “I’d say it has to be ‘You make me want things I can’t have.’” 

 

Archie’s brow furrowed. “What’s so awful about that? It sounds kind of romantic.” 

 

“I suppose it was more was the  _ way _ he said it. ‘You make me want things I can’t have.’ So serious. Plus--think about it, Archiekins. That line implies  _ I’m _ the thing he wants and can’t have.” 

 

“So what did you say to him?” 

 

From her perch in Archie’s laugh, Veronica looked over at her roommate--“Betty, care to enlighten the gentlemen?”--and Betty put her margarita down on the coffee table. 

 

“I believe the response was ‘I beg your misogynistic pardon, but I’ll thank you not to categorize me as an  _ object _ ,’” Betty said, arching her eyebrows in what was actually a very passable imitation of Veronica. 

 

“Precisely.” Veronica reached for her own glass, which was nearly empty, and drained it. “Who’s for refills?” 

 

She started to extract herself from her boyfriend, but Betty, less encumbered by jock-sized arms around her waist, stood up first. 

 

“I’ll get them,” she said, tripping over the edge of the throw rug and catching herself in a way that was, Jughead thought, somehow graceful. 

 

Veronica let out a tiny, amused snort of laughter. “Are you drunk?” 

 

“No,” Betty said. “Just…”

 

“Tipsy?” 

 

“ _ Happy _ ,” Betty said. “One margarita is happy, two margaritas is tipsy, and three is drunk.” She collected Veronica’s glass in her free hand, saw that Archie’s was almost empty, and swiped that as well, winding her fingers around the narrow stems. 

 

Then her eyes fell on the empty cutting board, and she sucked her lip between her teeth. 

 

“Oh, the cheese and crackers need refilling.” She looked at Veronica and Archie, and then at Jughead, and then back at the cheese and crackers--and, finally, at Jughead again. “Juggie, will you bring the tray in? I’m out of hands.” 

 

Without casting a glance at either Archie or Veronica--without saying a single word--Jughead put the snack mix down, picked up the cutting board, and followed Betty into the kitchen. 

 

Veronica and Betty’s kitchen was a completely separate room that featured a rather anachronistic solid wooden door, a door Jughead barely had time to close behind them before they heard a quiet, high-pitched “Archie!” and the sound he had once described as what  _ would _ be a giggle, were Veronica Lodge only capable of producing that kind of laughter. 

 

_ Betty _ could giggle, though--she could giggle with the best of them--and she did now, though not before rolling her eyes and banging all the margarita glasses on the counter.

 

“You  _ are _ happy,” Jughead said, as she stepped over to him, draping her arms around his neck as soon as she got close enough. He was, oddly enough, suddenly feeling pretty happy himself. 

 

“Mm-hmm,” she replied, and then she kissed him so hard he had to lean on the door for support. 

 

He wasn’t complaining. He definitely wasn’t complaining. Not even if she tasted ever-so-slightly of jalapeño margarita. 

 

“You want to know the worst pickup line  _ I’ve _ ever heard?” she asked a few moments later, by which time her hands had migrated to his chest. “It was--” 

 

“Don’t.” He’d been an inarticulate, blubbering idiot, he knew that. “You don’t need to remind me of every single word I tripped over trying to--” 

 

Betty tilted her head back to look at him, and her lips quirked upwards in a quizzical smile. “You think what you said was--oh, god, Juggie, no. Not even close.” She kissed him again, this time on the cheek, and then added, “The worst pickup lines are actually  _ lines _ . Plus...well, yours was very endearing, all that spluttering. It actually worked.” 

 

And that, he supposed, was true; in fact, he hadn’t needed to say anything at all. Against all odds, logic, and common sense, Betty Cooper had decided she liked trapping him against her kitchen door. She liked making out with him in the dark recesses of the library stacks. She liked--well, she liked  _ him _ . 

 

“I can try again,” he offered, as Betty pushed away and began refilling drinks from the blender. 

 

“Later. They’re going to get suspicious if we’re in here too long.” 

 

Jughead was about to point out that they could just tell their friends they’d started dating. But he wasn’t in any immediate hurry to let Archie and Veronica in on their relationship either. Betty was exciting enough on her own, but keeping their relationship secret--sharing glances over Veronica’s head, keeping Archie off-balance with stories about study groups--made the moments they did get in private that much more enthralling. 

 

Instead he said, “What if I wanted to kiss you some more?” 

 

“Well, I’d want that too, obviously, but--oh,  _ no _ ,” she said, obviously realizing what she’d just walked into. “Don’t say it.” 

 

“You make me want things I can’t have, Betty Cooper.” 

 

Betty groaned deeply, but she was smiling as she crossed the small kitchen and pinned him against the door again. This time, however, she did not kiss him. Instead, she licked her lips. 

 

“What if I told you,” she said, her voice low and quiet in a way that made his pulse speed up exponentially, “that you could have those things?” 

 

He stood there with his back pressed against the door, temporarily speechless. Finally, words returned. 

 

“When?” he said, and Betty grinned. 

 

She balanced cheese and crackers and margaritas all on the cutting board, and said, only, “Door.” He opened it for her. 

 

When they returned to the living room, they found it empty. 

 

Betty set the cheese board on the coffee table and looked around. “Um…” 

 

From the direction of Veronica’s bedroom came a loud thump, followed by rhythmic squeaking. 

 

“Oh, my god,” she said. “Again?” 

 

Jughead considered collapsing back in his corner chair, but he didn’t really want to hear Archie and Veronica going at it either. (Again. This happened at his and Archie’s apartment pretty regularly, too.) 

 

“We can go back to the kitchen,” he suggested. But Betty shook her head. 

 

“Wait right there,” she said, and then disappeared down the hall. 

 

She returned in less than five minutes, blue backpack slung over her shoulder, grabbed his hand, and led him towards the front door. 

 

“Uh… Betty?”

 

“Well… your apartment’s empty, right?” 

 

Veronica’s bed emitted another noisy squeak. 

 

“It better be,” he said. 

 

“You said you wanted things, and I said you could have them.” Betty squeezed his hand, and his throat went so dry he was almost tempted to drink one of the margaritas. “So let’s go.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Comments make my day, even on silly little things like this! 
> 
> Actually...I might try to fit the other dialogue prompts I have left into this little 'verse. Thoughts?


End file.
